


How to win your brother back in five simple steps

by flamyshine



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Loki (Marvel) is a Good Bro, Post-Ragnarok, Thor (Marvel) Needs a Hug, brotherly feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-10
Updated: 2017-11-10
Packaged: 2019-01-31 14:44:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12683997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flamyshine/pseuds/flamyshine
Summary: It wasn’t much fun to kick a sad puppy. It was always more fun to kick ahappypuppy into sadness. That was the only reason why Loki decided to lift his brother’s mood.





	How to win your brother back in five simple steps

**Author's Note:**

> The story is set after the fantastic film “Thor: Ragnarok” (not including the post-credit scene). It contains spoilers, so please be aware!

 

_‘Loki, I thought the world of you. I thought we were going to fight side by side forever. But at the end of the day, you’re you and I’m me. I don’t know, maybe there’s still good in you… but let’s be honest, our paths diverged a long time ago.’_

Loki woke up, cursing into his pillow. It was that damn dream again; the one based on his memories. He had been riding the elevator with his brother on that hideous planet, trying to find a way back home. And, Thor had been so very Thor and had said something ridiculous like that. Of course Thor had thought the world of him; he had been an amazing child. Of course there was still good in him; he was a complicated being with various qualities. And, of course their paths had diverged, but the funny thing about paths was that they could always converge again.

He sat up and let out a sigh. As if waking up from a distasteful dream wasn’t bad enough, he was reminded of his fallen homeland once he looked around his room. He had agreed with Thor and Heimdall that Asgard was about people instead of a place, and Thor had chosen Earth as their new home. So here they were on a previously uninhabited island in Northern Norway, trying to rebuild their kingdom. Thor had become the new king, but that wasn’t important. Everyone knew that _he_ had been the true savior, showing up at the perfect moment with that gigantic spaceship to save them from Hela’s death grip.

Loki got out of bed and stretched. His room was right next to Thor’s and they shared a small balcony. He hated to admit that Stephen Strange’s sorcery, Tony Stark’s drones and wealth, and Hulk and Korg’s superior strength had been helpful in building the royal house. But there was still a lot of work to do before they could even remotely feel like they were home again and it made him want to jump back in bed. But his people needed him in these desperate times and he wasn’t going to let them down. Thor was being rather distant to his own people, so he was doing most of the consoling. But then, his brother had never been good with words or people, so perhaps it was inevitable that _he_ was the one who let young maidens cry on his shoulder and made children laugh with divine magic. Everyone seemed to love him and rightfully so.

“Good morning, brother.” Loki stepped onto the balcony and greeted the man who was looking out to the sea.

“Good morning.”

Loki sighed for the second time today as Thor didn’t even look at him. He was staring moodily at the sea while petting the raven that he had befriended the other day. The ugly thing was called ‘June’ and wasn’t that hilarious? There were two reasons for the said hilarity; a) it wasn’t June here, b) Thor probably thought that nobody would notice how it was only a letter away from his ex-girlfriend’s name, Jane.

He shook his head and walked towards his brother. He understood why Thor was acting like this. Apart from the worry he must feel about starting from scratch, their father had recently passed away and their sister had turned out to be a real menace to the entire universe. Besides, Thor had lost his closest friends in the battle and hadn’t had time to properly mourn them. He himself was mourning the loss of their father too, but Thor was mentally a lot weaker than him.

“Aren’t you going to ask me if I had a good night’s rest?” Loki said in a smooth voice as he stood next to his brother.

“Did you have a good night’s rest?” Thor asked in a weary voice.

Loki resisted the urge to sigh yet another time. Thor was simply repeating his words without putting any meaning behind them. There were no emotions or curiosity in his question. He felt that it had come to a point where he almost missed the stupid banter that they had used to share. It wasn’t much fun to kick a sad puppy. It was always more fun to kick a _happy_ puppy into sadness. That was the only reason why he decided to lift his brother’s mood.

 

**Step 1: Nauseating flattery**  


It was a relief that he had a silver tongue and a strong stomach. Otherwise he would’ve failed from the very beginning. Strange had put a little bit of effort into Thor’s longer hair and a _lot_ of effort into his new eye, so he figured that those would be a good place to start.

“You know, I don’t think I’ve ever told you how much I appreciate your eyes,” he mentioned during a private lunch with his brother. He wouldn’t be caught dead saying such nice things about Thor in front of anyone else. It was bad for his carefully crafted bad boy image. “I wonder if it’s the color or the steeliness in them.”

A highly uncomfortable silence followed as Thor just stared at him. So he stared back at his brother, feeling comfortable in the knowledge that he had never lost a staring contest against anyone ever.

“Thank you. I do have good eyesight.” That was all Thor could manage to say. Loki was acting strange. Perhaps he was feeling a little bit ill.

“Good eyesight? You’re a god, Thor. It’s only natural that you have good eyesight.” Loki frowned. What kind of a response was that? Perhaps Thor wasn’t as fond of his eyes as he had thought he would. It was time to go for the hair then. After all, there had been rumors that Thor had begged the crazy man on Sakaar rather pathetically not to cut his hair. “You see, I wonder about your luscious locks as well.”

“You’re wondering about a lot of strange things today.” Thor focused his attention on the soup. Despite its unimpressive taste, it was still easier to handle than whatever Loki was trying to pull.

Loki gave up. He had apparently lost his appetite for no good reason. “You really don’t know how to take a compliment, do you? And yet, I see you smile warmly to all those people who praise you.”

Thor shrugged. “That’s because I have to. It’s expected of me. But you and I are much closer than that.”

Loki raised an eyebrow. Feeling unnecessarily honest today, weren’t we? Hmm, perhaps he should try a slightly different approach. Norway was a cold land with unforgiving conditions in winter, unlike Asgard that had the nicest climate. He had no problem with the freezing weather as he was originally a Frost Giant, but Thor had been looking utterly miserable without his beloved sun.

“Can I just say that the red nose looks good on you?” Loki gave his brother a fake innocent smile. “It’s your favorite color, isn’t it? Your cloak is red and you often see red…”

Thor put down his spoon. “Loki, my nose is red because I’m cold.”

“Oh, I know that. I just thought you might respond better to sarcastic compliments.”

Thor gave him a tired laugh before picking up his spoon again. “Only you, Loki. Only you.”

He wasn’t sure what Thor meant exactly, but it didn’t feel like a roaring success. Not to worry though. There was always step 2.

 

**Step 2: Get him friends**  


Loki understood that it would be hard for Thor to find new friends in the kingdom. He was the king, so people would feel a certain distance towards him. So he had no choice but to summon Thor’s old friends from work. Thankfully, Stark was already here, working on turning Hulk back to Banner since the old footage of Natasha Romanoff, the Hulk Whisperer, hadn’t worked at all. (He had even been forced to transform himself into her and talk about how the sun was going down, but that hadn’t worked either.) And, Heimdall had located the other Avengers at a place called Wakanda, so it was a simple matter of transporting the goods.

“They’re not going to come,” Tony told the god who was watching him do allergy skin tests on Hulk’s back. It was a really broad back, so he could perform a wide variety of tests.

“Why not? Aren’t they his friends or at the very least his colleagues?”

“They are. But they’re hiding from the authorities. Can you pass me that pipette over there?”

“I’m not your lowly assistant,” Loki made it clear, but he still handed over the tool in question because he needed the tiny man. “I could secretly alert the authorities and force them to leave Wakanda. Then I’ll give them safe haven here.”

“Not a bad plan,” Tony admitted. “Except if you do that, I’ll tell them and Thor that _you_ were the one who tipped off the authorities.”

Urgh, Tony was right. That wouldn’t go down too well and he didn’t want to deal with the Avengers single-handedly.

“You know, it wouldn’t be the craziest idea if _you_ tried to be a friend to him. Siblings do make good friends occasionally.” Tony thought that the chance of the Asgardian boys becoming cordial friends was smaller than Hell freezing over. But he agreed with Loki that Thor looked extremely depressed to the point that nobody wanted to stay within six feet of him.

Loki shook his head in disbelief. What a terrible suggestion. “Did you already go senile? Did you forget what kind of relationship we have?”

Tony threw his hands in the air. “I can donate a robot if you’d like. That’s all I’ve got.”

“I don’t think he’d know how to deal with it even if you taught him. He’s not very good at learning or adapting to new situations.” Loki pursed his lips and thought for a moment. He had a better idea.

 

**Step 3: Get him ‘special’ friends**  


Loki belatedly regretted that he hadn’t marked this down as the very first step. Someone as physical as Thor would obviously find immense comfort in the pleasures of the flesh. So he went to the village and rounded up some maidens and lads that looked suitable. Much to his surprise, they didn’t need any convincing at all. Perhaps it was the shock of losing their homes or perhaps they thought that it was their duty to the king. Whatever the reason was, he was relieved that things were going smoothly for once.

But later that night, he found Thor standing on the balcony, staring at the sea _again_. “Finished already? With all of them?” he asked curiously as he stepped outside.

“I didn’t… I just sent them home.”

“Why?” Loki was surprised. “You’re male and you’re not dead. Or are you dead…?” Then he realized what the matter was. “Don’t worry, brother. If it’s a performance issue, I can help.”

Thor turned around and glared at his brother. “It is most definitely _not_ a performance issue. I just don’t want to.”

Loki took a few steps. “Can I stab you in the chest?”

“What?”

“To see if you’re actually alive.”

Thor groaned and walked past his brother. “Good night, Loki.”

“Good night.”

Loki was at a loss for a few moments until he got a brilliant idea. He hurried towards the guest room and ripped off the door in his haste.

“Jesus Christ!” Tony jumped from the bed as he put down his phone. He had just finished talking to his kid. “Don’t they teach you to knock in Asgard? Or to respect a good door?”

“I don’t have time for this. Thor’s about to turn in for the night. I need you to go over there and please him.” Loki walked over to the wardrobe and took a look inside.

“I beg your pardon? And, why are you going through my clothes?”

“Do you have something decent to wear? I mean, decently indecent?”

Tony put his feet in warm, fluffy slippers and stood up. He crossed his arms over his chest and answered in his most sarcastic tone, “I’m sure this is news to you, but I’m not a stripper. A playboy, yes, but I don’t go around pleasing kings.”

“Well, today’s your lucky day then! You are going to lie in a king’s bed and let him do unspeakable things to you.” Loki gave up on finding anything useful and simply cast his magic at the insignificant human being.

Tony groaned as he suddenly found himself in a half-ripped tank top and a pair of leather pants that were way too tight and way too short. “Don’t you have people for this kind of business? And, just out of curiosity, what on green earth makes you think I’m even his type?”

“Because he seems to like small, pretty, feisty, and smart brunettes.” Loki didn’t even miss a beat. He had done his homework, okay? He wasn’t sure if his brother had ever been interested in Sif, but Jane was definitely like that and Stark was like that too. So he wasted no more time and threw the guy over his shoulder.

“Hey! You put me down right this instant or I’m going to…” Tony didn’t get to finish his sentence as he was brutally thrown from the hallway straight through an open door and landed on Thor’s bed.

Loki grinned as he heard Thor’s shout of surprise. He hoped that it meant a good kind of surprise. He could find out all about it in the morning, but for now, it was time to get some beauty sleep.

 

**Step 4: Get him animal friends**  


The next morning, Loki walked into the royal dining room (which was more like a kitchen that was slightly bigger than average) and spotted Stark with a black eye. “Oh the gods… What happened to you? I didn’t know he was into pain play.”

“He isn’t.” Tony gave Loki a death glare. “He thought I was an intruder. I’m lucky he stopped mid-punch.”

“Lucky indeed. Otherwise, I would’ve had to toss your dead body into the sea, and the gods know just how much human flesh those sharks had eaten this week.”

Tony paled. Was Loki back to murdering people again?

“That was a joke.” Loki sat down across his guest and picked up the butter knife. He felt powerful as Tony flinched a little. “I’d apologize for last night, but I’ve been told that a near-death experience makes one open one’s eyes. I hope you can think of it as a gift and realize just how short your life is.”

“I will not think of it as a gift.” Tony seethed. “My son will hear about this.”

“Your son? Oh, that little spider boy. In fact, that gives me an idea. Why, yes. Why didn’t I think of this sooner?” Loki buttered his bread and decided to get snakes; lots of snakes for his brother who admired snakes. He had always thought that it showed just how much Thor adored him since he had often been told that his spirit animal must be a snake.

So when he got a spare moment, he headed to the nearest forest and lured out some snakes with his magic. He took care of the venom since if anyone was going to kill his brother, it should be him and nobody else. Then he put them in a large sack and went back home. Thor seemed to love June’s company, so he was probably in a mood for animal friends. Besides, animals were vastly less horrendous than humans. No argument there.

“Thor, I’ve got something for you.” Loki poked his head into his brother’s room. Thor was busy feeding June.

“What is it?” Thor looked up.

“You’ll have to follow me outside.” Loki grinned. He was sure that Thor was going to love this one.

Thor gave his brother a skeptical look, but it was nice to see that something had gotten him so excited. So he stopped guessing what was moving inside the sack that Loki was hiding behind his back and walked out to the balcony. “Okay, we’re outside now. Let me see it.”

“Ta-dah!” Loki giggled as he let the snakes out of the sack. Dozens of snakes started to crawl everywhere and a huge smile settled upon Thor’s face.

“Snakes! You got me snakes!” Thor roared with joy. “I didn’t know they could survive in such cold weather!”

“Apparently they can.” Loki watched the god coo at the confused creatures. It wasn’t a sight for the faint of heart, but he had grown up with Thor and knew that he liked to coo. What a strange habit.

“Can I keep them?” Thor let the snakes climb all over him and laughed heartily.

“They’re all yours.” Loki was reminded of an incident that had happened when they had been eight years old. He had turned into a snake and had lurked around Thor. And, when he had picked him up, he had turned back into himself and had said, ‘Blegh! It’s me!’ before stabbing him. In his defense, Thor had been wearing thick training clothes and he had wielded a very small knife that had needed to be tested on someone.

“Thank you, Loki. I love them all.” Thor gave his brother a genuine smile that crinkled his eyes.

“I’m sure you do. How fair of you,” Loki teased and walked back inside to give them a moment. Step 4 was clearly a success.

 

**Step 5: Disgusting bonding sessions**  


Loki tapped his chin as he wondered if this step was absolutely necessary; he would very much like to avoid it if he could. But out of the four previous steps, only one (step 4) had been fruitful, so he supposed that he would have to go through with it. But bonding with Thor probably meant doing unpleasant physical activities such as climbing ice cliffs or exploring creepy caves. Of course, there was always the wonderful possibility of Thor turning down his offer. He could only hope that fate would be so kind to him.

“Ice cliffs and caves?” Thor brightened up from his humble throne that looked more like a giant chair. They hadn’t had time to decorate it yet. “I’d love to try both!”

“Of course you would.” Loki didn’t know why he had even entertained the thought of any other outcome.

“When do we leave?”

Loki shrugged. “You’re the king. When are you free?” Thor looked like an overexcited puppy. It was good to know that he would soon be delightfully kickable.

“What do you say to tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow?” Loki could practically see Thor wagging an imaginary tail.

“Yeah! It’s Saturday. Now that we’re on Earth, shouldn’t we take the weekend off? Like earthlings?”

Loki couldn’t see a flaw in that argument and he figured that the sooner, the better. “Tomorrow it is. I’ll make a plan.”

So that was how Loki had ended up looking at his brother’s butt for four hours as they climbed up some famous, never-ending ice cliff. He had wanted to climb next to his brother, not _behind_ him, but Thor had insisted that it could be dangerous so that he should go first. Despite the biting wind and ice constantly falling on them, it had looked like Thor was thoroughly enjoying himself. He had been telling stories from their childhood, checking every time if he remembered them too. He had wanted to point out that his brain power was infinitely superior to Thor’s, but it wouldn’t do any good in bonding. So he had just nodded sullenly, sometimes a little surprised that Thor actually remembered that much.

And now, they had moved onto this cave that smelled seriously nasty. Where was this plethora of odor coming from? He was forced to use magic to numb his sense of smell, but his animalistic brother was actively sniffing around. And, whenever he found something interesting, he looked back at him with a big smile on his face. Yes, he certainly looked like a happy puppy now; one that would make earthlings want to hug. Wait a second. Speaking of hugs…

“You know, you never gave me that hug.”

“Hmm?”

“On the spaceship, you said ‘I might even give you a hug if you were actually here’. And, I told you I was there, but you didn’t give me a hug.” Loki hoped that he didn’t sound like he was pouting. And, he didn’t want Thor to misunderstand his words for anything other than protesting against a broken promise. He had absolutely no problem going about his life without that hug, but Thor was a king now; he was supposed to take promises more seriously.

Loki wasn’t prepared for the big arm that Thor threw behind his back. The motion had looked so easy as if they hugged all the time. He was pulled into a tight hug that made him wonder when the last time was that he had endured this suffocating activity. It was probably when his mother had hugged him right before his imprisonment. It was heartbreaking to think that he would never get another hug from her and that was the only reason why he leaned into the hug.

“You’re staying, right?”

Loki couldn’t help but snort. “No, brother. I’m not staying in this filthy cave.”

“I don’t mean this cave. You know what I mean.” Thor closed his eyes and rested his forehead on Loki’s shoulder. He didn’t even care if Loki was messing with him again. He was tired and lonely, and Loki was all he had left. “Stay with me, Loki. Your home is Asgard. It always has been and it always will be.”

Loki pretended to think for a moment. He needed a second to make sure that his voice didn’t quiver. “Well, I suppose I couldn’t leave even if I wanted to. The place would be a mess without me.”

Thor smiled and thought about how proud Mother would’ve been to know that Loki had not only played a big role in saving their people but was also doing great work in rebuilding their spirits. “I miss Mother. I wish she was around to see what we’ve been building together. And, we haven’t even tried to kill each other for weeks!”

Loki rolled his eyes. He just had to go there, didn’t he? “ _I_ was Mama’s boy. How much do you think _I_ miss her?”

Thor patted Loki’s back in apology. “I just… I can’t lose you too, brother. I thought I could, but I can’t. I admit there were times when I wished I had someone else for a brother, but I’m glad Father brought you home that day. I’m glad he didn’t leave you in that cold place to die. I would’ve never met you otherwise. You and I are family, and we do what brothers do. We wish death upon each other over the smallest things and fight like there’s no tomorrow. I’m glad you’re with me, Loki. I don’t want to do this without you.”

Okay, this was getting very uncomfortable very fast. Had he prepared that speech? Loki tried to pull himself out of the embrace, but the solid body wouldn’t budge.

“You said you wanted a hug.” Thor hung on more tightly.

“Exactly. I said I wanted _a_ hug, not an endless row of hugs. Let go of me.”

“No.”

“No?” Loki didn’t even know what to say to that. “Thor, you’re being a baby.”

“I don’t care. There’s nobody to judge and you should’ve been more careful about what you wished for.”

Loki sighed. This would be the perfect opportunity to kick his brother, but he just didn’t feel like it. There must be something awful in this cave that affected a god’s brain. That explained why they were both being so strange. “Can I at least turn into a snake? You can keep hugging me.”

“No.”

“I promise I won’t turn back into myself and stab you.”

“The answer is still no.”

“Thor, just because you’re a king doesn’t mean you can have everything your way.”

Thor laughed. “You sound like Mother.”

Loki bared his teeth. “If you bring her up one more time, I’m going to turn into a venomous snake and bite you in the wrong body parts. You will never get to use those parts ever again.” Much to his dismay, his brother only laughed louder.

“Now that’s the Loki I know and love.”

Love? Oh the gods… That was it. The bonding time was over. There was only so much absurdness and awkwardness that he could take. He transformed himself into a snake and slithered his way out of the cave. He paid no attention to the desperate howl that echoed in the cave and moved as quickly as he could. That was when he heard a lady’s laughter. It had been such a small sound, but he was sure that he hadn’t imagined it. He stopped and turned back into himself. “Mother…?”

“Got you!”

As Thor crushed him from behind, Loki felt weeks’ worth of repressed violence surge from the deepest valley of his soul. But he didn’t want to attack his brother when Mother might be watching them. So he did his best to sag like a sack of potato. Thor could hold his heavy weight if he wanted the damn hug so much. He could always kick him back into a sad mop of blond hair once they got home. But wait… what if Mother could see them there too? Urgh, this was an unexpected variable that could turn out to be a major obstacle to his ultimate plan. But he would have plenty of time to find a way to work around it since he was planning to stay in Asgard for a very long time.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! And, if anyone's interested, I have another story in the MCU, focused on Tony and Peter's father-sonly relationship :) [The impossible hardship of fatherhood](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11765079/chapters/26521710)


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